I was checking in on my blog here and looking at the stats(yes I look lol), and realized it’s been over three years since we began this journey.
The journey I’m speaking of is not just the relationship I have with my now wife. It’s the kind of relationship we have. A few months after we started dating I made a choice. I could continue dating her without discussing my need for her dominance. Ignoring my need to express my femininity. I could have faked who I was, buried my emotions and eventually sink into a depressive state. The other option was to open myself to rejection, and hope that my partner would like who the real me was.
I had already tried hiding and what I had to show for it was countless relationships ending with heartbreak and a failed marriage. Continuing on this path is near the definition of insanity. So I took a leap of faith and hoped for the best.
Three years later, I am married to my wonderful mistress. Besides a few days of healing from abrasions, healing my piercing, and a few days of her not asking me to lock back up, I’ve lived my new life locked in my device with her in control of it. Some of our routines have changed, but the core of our dynamic has evolved into a female led relationship.
I need to please my partner. Sexually, emotionally, and submissively. I need correction, and feedback. I need tests to prove my commitment and worth, enduring pain or activities that humble me.
Testing my limits and doing things I’m uncomfortable with has been an eye opening experience. For example, her telling me to clean her after my orgasm isn’t something I am comfortable with. Doing it has however been a great pleasure, knowing I am making her happy, knowing that I am proving I am truly hers and she is actively ensuring that I always will be, makes it a treat and an enormous heartwarming act of love.
Which also reminds me of punishment. I haven’t been punished for a long while now(I must be so well behaved I don’t need any lol!), but a few times she’s used punishment as a tool for problem solving, I had completely melted in love and adoration. It really showed how much I meant to her, it showed I was worth fighting for, and that she would not let me mess this up. I felt sooo loved after.
So here we are three years later, she’s accepted my submissive nature, my femininity both mentally and my slowly developing physical changes, and has been my lovely leader. Yes we still argue from time to time, but I know deep down that it will never get too far because whenever she wants she can end it all with stern commands and a paddle.
Overall I am very grateful to her for loving me so much that she does all this. Her overly honest dirty talk while we have sex never ceases to make me feel like we are going to really make it. That kind of chat lets me know that she sees my shortcomings, but will always stay with me and I’ll be hers forever. We’ve discussed cucking and her taking a lover while I watch or help her receive pleasure, but we are both on the same page that her heart will always be on me and never become emotional with another. That kind of security means so much. Her receiving pure pleasure or exploring fantasy actually feeds into my need to please, as long as I know I will be the only one she gives her heart to.
I started this blog three years ago, not knowing if anyone would ever read it besides her. I wanted a place to vent my feelings and emotions while transitioning from a “normal” relationship, to one of a submissive living in a cock cage with someone else holding the key. I knew I didn’t want to bug her every day with my frustrations, and to be honest I am very proud of what we are and what we do. I saw a few other blogs but most were about long time married couples starting a new chapter, and not a relationship formed and seeded in it. I still get shocked when I see the thousands of views that have peeked in and had a look at our story.
We are always evolving, hard limits have pretty much disappeared, I’m hers, and she could tell me to do anything she wants. We have let up on some things (punishment, routines, etc) but at our core this is who we are as a couple and will be for the rest of my life.
Thanks all those that read and have shown an interest in our journey.
suddenlysubbie 